Goodbye Chillerton Road

The summer of 2014 in London will go down as being one of the most memorable, chaotic, passionate and completely free, lose your mind times of my life. A time to say goodbye to the old and to embrace the new, challenging, scary and overwhelming  new path I have somehow managed to find myself skidding sideways head over feet down. It’s been a hell of a ride so far and I’m just getting warmed up.

In the beginning I had it all planned, I would re-visit the glorious fields of Glastonbury one last time. I would slowly tick things off my London (To do list) which I did start doing. Cue crazy/random evening at Hot tub cinema, getting drenched at not one but TWO music festivals – watching the ageing Backstreet Boys take the stage at the British Summertime festival. Catching up with old friends who found themselves visiting London in transit and everything in – between. So much has happened in such a short period of time that I barely know where to begin.

I miss those days where I had no worries about where my life was headed or what I could be doing, should be doing or didn’t do – as is the perpetual stress of our modern day lives. Glastonbury 2014 was different this year – or was it that I was different? Most noticeably the rain, I now believe you haven’t truly experienced Glastonbury until you’ve trudged through it knee-deep in mud in your Wellies. It made those shifts all the more tiring and less fun than the previous year. The group was also bigger – with the lovely Roxanne returning from OZ to join us once again  – seeing her was bittersweet because it was a reminder of the past but also highlighted life after London and marked the beginning of the end of my time here.

The Glastonbury group wasn’t as together this year as there were tensions between certain parties – and things at Chillerton Road had been strained after the constant stream of new house mates followed by an ever-growing pile of dirty dishes in the kitchen which lead to notes about said pile, and lack of housework being completed etc I am not completely guilt free in that it did take me a hell of a long time to finally get around to cleaning the upstairs bathroom – and when I finally did it took hours. The most affected by all the stress it seemed was Emma – one of the kindest most generous people I have ever had the pleasure to meet had become so strung out by the state of the house and the lack of people involved in the planning behind the Glastonbury trip that it put a real dampener on her experience. We lost two mother hens when Carolyn and Sheri left and the house is all the poorer for it.

Determined not to let tensions get in the way of our experience – Sam and I went on a mission to find the rabbit hole at Glastonbury – and after asking around and searching the immense grounds on foot, we found it. It turns out it’s just to the right of the bar of the same name. Alice in Wonderland themed you enter a hole in a wall just below the Cheshire cat and on the other side are greeted by characters who exclaim ‘You’re late!’ before ushering you through one of two passageways where you need to crawl for a bit before entering a dance party on the other side. It is pretty small and is packed with people.  Quite proud of ourselves by this stage we headed off. Little did we know the underground piano bar and the rabbit hole are two different night spots. The piano bar is even smaller and better hidden – so if we find ourselves at Glastonbury again next year then that is our next goal. A month and a half on from Glastonbury and the cows have just moved back to worthy farm to graze once again, until next year that is.

And then I fell in Love….well not in that order but life is never orderly.

I was all ready to work hard and pay off this trip that I had booked around Europe, one last spurt of travel before returning to OZ. I had mentally packed my bags and started trying to get used to the idea of coming home and the prospect of starting over again after coming so far. But it happened – we worked together, flirted outrageously laughed and talked for hours about our lives – in my heart of hearts I felt like I could tell him anything. Funnily enough something just clicked one day and all of a sudden I was hooked. My focus had shifted completely. And yes, you could call those beginning stages infatuation – they were. But then after what felt like months of build up and tension it finally became something more, and it seemed I wasn’t alone anymore. I had someone else to consider now, it wasn’t all about me anymore.

He is everything I have ever dreamed of in a man but never thought I would actually be lucky enough to have. He isn’t a fantasy though he was a living breathing human man! and being with him I often feel like I am in a dream. The only problem was the closer we became the harder it got for me because I knew I would have to leave soon. I was angry because the universe seemed to be laughing at me, putting him in my path all the while knowing he could be torn away from me again in an instant.When I looked at him the thought of leaving him behind would enter my mind and my heart would break just a little. So much so that I approached work about sponsorship and it looked promising for a while until I got the answer I had been dreading and my inquiries fell on deaf ears. I looked into studying here, but quickly realized that is strictly reserved for rich overseas kids. I started scouring family tree sites hoping for something – anything.

Seeing how strung out and stressed I had become Roberto said ‘How can I help you? what can I do – I don’t want to let you go..’ I looked at him and sighed ‘You could marry me’ and he said ‘Okay you make the arrangements and we’ll do it, if this is what it takes then we’ll do it’

I looked at him, and could barely believe his selflessness (He later said it was selfishness)but I couldn’t find it in my heart to let him do that for me. So we didn’t speak about it again but it played on my mind constantly. Until one day we were talking and he was complaining about being bro