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Last days in Belfast & Cardiff



I am currently on the plane to Cardiff and after seeing the size of this plane I now know why they charged me so much for excess luggage as it’s so tiny it probably would barely take off if there was too much weight. I have been seated in a window seat right next to the really small propeller and even though I’m no engineer I can’t help scanning it for anything suspect. I feel sick and I’m not sure whether its nerves or the coffee I consumed in the lounge prior to boarding but I am now well and truly on my way. Flying over Belfast I tried to spot White rock and Sliabh dubh, I managed to spot Victoria square shopping centre, The University and the cemetery near Anne’s so was in the general direction of where we were staying. The past four weeks have been grand, I have seriously overindulged in alcohol and fatty  foods and have probably consumed every carb known to man and am simply waiting for it all to catch up to me. I assume that one day I’ll be walking down the street and all of a sudden my arse and boobs will just pop out in front of me Nutty Professor style as there’s no way my body will let me get away with what I have put it through. That combined with the lack of exercise due to the ankle injury and it’s inevitable. But I am sure that my new frugality now that I am on my own will sort that out. I probably won’t have the money to be dining out much until I get on my feet and will probably be living on cheese sandwiches or pot noodles ala Heather potter.



So the wedding was great fun – as expected it was a long day starting at the ceremony in this lovely cathedral in town. The ceremony itself was not as long as expected and we had little guides that we followed which was good to but I’m pretty sure are standard these days for weddings. The bride looked lovely and as I had briefly met her father on a few occasions I could definitely see a resemblance. It was a beautiful sunny day but the wind was very cold and the majority of us girls wanting to look glam didn’t have thick overcoats over our outfits so we kind of stood in an alcove outside the church huddled together. Then we all bundled onto a pre – booked bus to the reception. It was lovely to see how much effort everyone went to, to get dressed up. Most of the women had their hair and nails done with lovely dresses and perfectly matching jewelry. In fact quite a few just so happened to be wearing the same shade of purple that day so it became a bit of a running joke between Kath and I that the purple girls were the bridesmaids. The reception was held at a country club about half an hour out of town, as we arrived we were served canapé’s beer and champagne in the foyer as we waited to be seated inside. The reception hall was stunning with white drapery and crystal candelabras and large glasses with candle centerpieces on the other tables. We sat down to a three course meal before once again being directed back into the foyer where they had set up a just for fun casino with fake pounds that were given to everybody with a picture of the couple on the notes. Even the children were catered for with balloon animals and activity centre. They had also set up a little candy bar with old school sweets that you could help yourself to which was lovely.


Next was the dancing portion of the evening as we went back into the reception area they had a DJ and dance floor set up which later became really sticky due to the alcohol spilled all over it during the evening I imagine. I couldn’t wait to get up there and boogie but I was also dubious as to getting my footing wrong and aggravating my ankle so kind of didn’t do anything tricky and ended up doing the ‘mum dance’ as I have called it. Basically my mum (I can’t speak for all mothers) does this dance that was probably a very popular way to dance in her heyday where she kind of does this simple one – two step over and over again and then if she’s feeling a little flash she might throw in a clap or two. Special mention must go to Kathleen’s aunt Mary who at 63 can out dance people half her age, Mary’s signature move seems to be the drunken pointing much like what a drunken member of The Wiggles might do and it was such a laugh to see her chase Daniel around the room for a dance with the pointy fingers. She is truly amazing, I hope I have her energy on the dance floor when I am her age. A bloke tried to pick me up earlier in the evening and I kept running into him during different stages of the night. I think he may have been friends with the groom though he tried to buy me a drink but I think he was so drunk that they wouldn’t serve him. He kept saying I’ll buy you a drink but not a Cosmo because that costs the same amount as his underwear. It was funny the first time he said it, but he was so wasted he kept making the joke again and again and being polite I laughed each and every time like it was the first time I’d heard it. Then he offered me a pill which I politely declined and then a fag that I also declined and I didn’t see him after that.


We stayed on until 1:30 before getting the hired bus with everybody back into town. It felt like we were coming back from the football as everybody was pretty drunk by this stage and the boys were singing the Glasgow Celtics song on the bus. So we decided to start singing the Australian anthem and yell out whatever random Australian things that we could think of. Which included me yelling out ‘Throw another shrimp on the f****g Barbie!’ thinking back I’m really embarrassed about that because the swear was really unnecessary and Kathleen’s dad hates swearing and I must’ve sounded like a truck driver when I said it.


Right at this second I am sitting at the bus stop at Cardiff airport on possibly the most uncomfortable bench my arse has ever bared witness to, which is so cruel because I am told that the next bus into town doesn’t come for another hour and a half! I am sitting here with two polish women I think I can’t seem to tell accents anymore *They were actually Spanish I think everyone is Polish for some reason* My Welsh accent was totally off, I unfortunately left my passport on the plane I have no idea what is wrong with me it’s the second time I’ve done it on this trip now. But my anxiousness over not being able to locate my passport soon turned to sexiness lol the security guy (my first contact with a Welshman was hot and really friendly escorting me around the airport while they got my passport off the plane.  Welcome to Wales!


Didn’t get to sleep that night until about 4am with our ears ringing and my ankle cursing me, but we were happy, we had a great time and it was a good little send off for me.